A JUUL Vaporizer Pod Personality Test?

What does your favorite pod flavor say about your personality? (An immersive experience)

Since 2015, JUUL vaporizers and pods have completely taken over the e-cigarette market. With rumors of “new flavors being released in the near future” most users are buzzing with excitement just to try them! Add the new JUUgo to the mix and people are hitting that party mode nonstop!

The question is, will you stick to your go-to Mango or Cool Mint pod or be adventurous and try new ones? More importantly, What does your current JUUL pod flavor preference say about your personality?

Mango:
We’ll start here since the favorite JUUL Pod flavor is Mango- if you’ve ever tried one, you’d understand why so many people love its tropical flavor with its bold, charismatic draw. Because of mango’s unique appeal, we have concluded Mango lovers are an adventurous people- they’re the type that’ll run to be first in line at the carnival, even if it’s a dangerous ride put together by questionable people in a small town festival. Mang-lovers (pronounced the way you’d say the name of Danny Glover’s lesser successful sibling, Mang) tend to be driven and ambitious with a healthy disregard for law and order. They’re moral compass is firm and rigid due to the amount of times they’ve dropped and broken it. They’re particularly responsible people who know where their kids are at all times but can’t seem to ever find their keys. Catch them late night at a trendy lounge wearing all black, doing the afternoon coffee shop runs for “the squaa”, or selflessly participating in sit-ins that may or may not change our future but will certainly result in misdemeanor charges, and maybe even a little jail time.

Cool Mint:
The next most loved Juul flavor is Cool Mint. It’s smooth and clean with a minty undertone that reminds us ever so subliminally, it’s not just a clever name. Even though this flavor is overwhelmingly second to Mango by a sizeable margin, it doesn’t mean Cool Mint lovers are second class people or have inferior taste; on the contrary. Studies show they’re bold trend-setters who don’t care if their martinis were shaken or stirred so long as it’s a double. Cool Mint Mclovers are the type of people who love warm fireplaces and cold winters. They are brave souls with clean fingernails and frigid blood running through their veins- cut one, you’ll see. They treat the world as if it’s their canvas and use every shade of their #2 lead pencils to pave their existential path. Catch a rad Cool Mint McLovin at the nearby Pub drinking an IPA and raging about how there aren’t decent IPA’s anymore, in a Monastery for reasons that can’t be discussed due to a confidentiality agreements or a traveling circus, either employing harsh tactics to tame wild animals or jumping out of a small vehicle with 10-12 of his “traveling face-painted brethren”.

Crème Brûlée:
Crème Brûlée lovers are a special people if not the most special of all Juul Pod lovers despite the fact it’s third in our Juul Pod Olympics. These people yearn to be amongst the wilderness, are independent thinkers with a passion for the finer things, and have a sweet-tooth like none other. Creme Bru-lovers, as we like to call them, are the type to binge on 2 cheesecakes at a work-related happy-hour despite having a severe intolerance to lactose. They tend to justify any and all irrational, immoral and/or outright stupid behavior with the philosophy that “you only live once”, or simply stated, “YOLO, Bitches”. It’s this carefree, whimsical quality that makes these warm and loving sugar-fiends such a delight to be around. Creme Bru-lovers are naturally very social, extroverted people with one exception, their own- their insatiable thirst for attention means there can only be ONE Creme-head in any room at one time. They tend to breed with like-minded people and birth strong, healthy children with above-average length and girth second toes (the one next to the fat toe). Spot a Cremeski in any supermarkets’ frozen sweets section, battling inner demons like fear and self-doubt while standing in a secluded bathroom at a friends house next to an outlet charging their Juul because they haven’t ordered a JUUgo yet, or picking up a local newspaper to see “what’s poppin” this weekend.

Cool Cucumber:
The cucumber people are the mysterious group in the world of Juul pod lovers. They don’t order steaks unless dining in a dimly-lit steakhouse. Just look for the filet mignon or porterhouse cuts cooked medium rare to slightly cold in the center. Why would anybody eat a steak that’s slightly cold in the center, you ask? Because that's what makes them “cool as a cucumber”. Don’t leave your boy or girlfriend around a cucumber lover, or else… that’s it, or else… you can imagine the rest. They tend to be incredibly fertile people with dangerous, stress-fueled coffee addictions that would go unsuspected by friends and loved ones for years because of their exceptional oral hygiene. They own hats and always carry extra pods in their pocket which they like to call their “pair of minticles” or simply “my Juul Pod ball-sack”. Catch a Q-lover at the local library or elderly daycare facility, heading board meetings or managing a team of hard-working, family-oriented folks, googling “jail time for lewd and lascivious acts”, or a knife fight with a clergyman after a drunken game of Guess Who at a local pub for reasons completely unrelated to religion or that game.

Fruit Medley:
Fruit medley lovers are the Romeo and Juliet’s of the Juul Pod world. They are the romantics, wearing their emotions on their sleeves and constantly looking for a good time. It’s easy to spot one in a crowded space: simply find a little Juul smoke, then make sure their loafers are clean and sparkly. They’re the first at the bar, the first to the dance floor, and the first to get dragged out from a bathroom stall with stains on their shirts (the shoes still clean though). Fruit Medlovers like to go against the grain, battle conformities, and deal illicit substances. They have a natural talent for gambling and a remarkable grasp of the obvious. A Fruit Medlover will order pizza to your house, select cash as the payment method and conveniently show up 3 minutes after the pizza was “delivered”. Their power to bend the rules and convince you it’s a good idea to make irrational decisions makes them the Jedi of the Juul Pod world. You can find Fruit Medlovers anywhere from a poorly-lit dive bar to a trendy lounge ordering every cocktail on special, mixing every well alcohol in a single sitting all while hoping to score some love, knowing damn well they're wearing 4 inch thick beer goggles and will pay for their lapse of judgement 13 hours later. You can also find Fruit Med-lovers at your local burger joint ordering the chicken sandwich or a questionable vegan alternative.

Classic Menthol & Classic/Virginia Tobacco:
After days of exhaustingly researching Classic Menthol and Classic/Virginia Tobacco Pod users, we found that people who prefer those flavors all fit the same personality profile- it’s like putting on a wig and looking at yourself in the mirror just to say,“hey look, that’s me wearing a wig”. To put that into better perspective, let’s take the example of Nick Nolte and Gary Busey (if you don’t know who they are, google some images); both men have completely different names and birthdays but when you look at pictures, you quickly realize it’s the same guy with two IMBD profiles wearing different dentures. I’m not even sure both have ever been spotted in public at the same time. It’s important to also consider we only found four people who had an overwhelming preference to the Classic Menthol or Classic/Virginia Tobacco. They’re people who are purists at the core but love a good hoedown- they want to feel that Lucky Strike or Newport sensation every time they walk over to a shorty and say, “hey baby, what’s bracken’?” Their souls are inherently good, bountifully wise and infinitely old. You can find these people driving down the interstate blasting Wham, mowing their own lawns even if they live in a condo and pay association fees, or shirtless at a sporting event with the team colors painted on and a sign that says, “your mom came by for dinner last night and got the ‘flaming young’”.

So tell us, what’s your favorite flavor and why? Drop by our Facebook Page, Instagram, or Twitter and let us know! The best answers will be included in our follow up story! Like and Share this with your friends!